Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Rivoting Article

This was the subject of much conversation in our household earlier this week. Read it twice if you have to, but the final paragraph is brilliant, both in that it brings it all together nicely, but much, much more than that, for all that it reveals!

Go it...won't take you long.

OK, do you think you have it all figured out? At first glance, we had some idea, but really had to take some time to get the big picture of how this tragedy occurred.

My brother, Phil, made the suggestion that this article should be on the standard ACT, testing reading comprehension. Of course, this is quite funny to think about, given the subject matter, but really it's not THAT bad of an idea. So let's break it down.

We have the following cast of characters:
The Victim
The Suspect
The Mother

Now, have you figured the rest out yet? Seriously, read it once more if you must.

The best I can tell, this appears to be a basic synopsis of the incident and the events leading up to the eruption of tempers and ensuing violence.

51 year old suspect, we'll call him Vern, appears to be living with his 70 year old mother, we'll just call her Vern's mom to keep the characters straight.

To Vern's dismay, his mother starts dating (and likely sleeping with) a 39 year old man, we shall call this dude, Stan, who also becomes the victim in our great tragedy at hand.

I can't imagine this being a pleasant living environment, and sure enough we come to find out that Vern and young Stan, in fact, are constantly at odds with each other.

I also get the impression that this particular microwave incident is not the first time the action has been called into question by Stan. And in Stan's defense, seriously, who puts their leftovers in the microwave to eat later? Pretty disgusting, Vern.

There, however, ends all attempts at defending Stan. Imagine Vern at this point. Here he is, 51 and living peacefully enough with his 70 year old mother. But along comes this damned 39 year old Stan guy, who for motives we cannot explain, starts shacking up with Vern's mother, right there under his same roof. Vern is pissed. But as if that is not enough, Stan has the gall to start telling Vern how to live in his own home! And so they argue constantly.

At this point, I think it becomes clear that Vern has long ago reached the brink of his breaking point. Yet, it's still not premeditated, it takes an actual physical attack to push Vern too far!

Vern is eating, and (for probably not the first time) decides to get up to put his food in the microwave to be eaten later. And this part is just unbelievable to me. Stan, who is all of 39 years old and sleeping with Vern's 70 year old mother, NOT ONLY takes exception to Vern's insistence of leaving his unfinished food grotesquely sitting in the microwave, but actually jumps up and attempts to punch Vern for doing so! WTF!?!?!?

And then Stan gets stabbed several times by Vern. Go figure.

The rest is rather straight forward. Stan falls to the floor, but isn't finished as he makes one final attempt to prevent Vern from leaving. Vern, not having anymore of it, simply pushes Stan away and leaves the premises. And the mother is away in the kitchen all the while.

And now Vern will go to jail; nobody wants to end up becoming a Vern. But for the love of God, definitely don't be a Stan.

Is this how you read it? Either way, thank you for taking the time to read my insanity; enjoy a football filled weekend and I'll be back next week to write all about it!

Also, a shameless plug:

A close friend of mine is training hard for an upcoming charity race. The training is the easy part; the hard part is gathering sponsors to reach her goal. It's an excellent cause that many of us have either already encountered in our lives, or will someday. All donations go to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. To help out my friend Carole in this event, just click here. She doesn't know I'm doing this, by the way, I'm just trying to do my part to help out!

Thanks again and I will talk to you...or at you I suppose, next week!


Anonymous said...

Interesting commentary. However, I take offense at your choice of the victim's name. You see, my name is Stan. You could have easily chosen a much less desirable name such as Harold or Dwayne or even Wilbur. How about Dick? That carries some very negative connotations, don't you agree? Next time, please put some more thought into your character's names. The Stanleys of the world would certainly appreciate it.

D Kyle Burkett said...

Haha my bad, Stan! In retrospect, Wilbur would have been a much better selection. My apologies to you and Stanleys every where.